Friday, December 12, 2014

Week 1: Beginning to sail

Week 1: We began to sail with thee of the lords bless. Cheers of joy and hope that we find land. I steer the ship wit ease. One week passed and on week one we check the navigation, and the crew seems to not trust the navigator. After that we check the supplies and we see green scum and a peculiar smell. And we see white larvae floating. The ships water can also cause illness. Will I ever make it out alive?


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  2. Mark,
    Nice job including the week in your post - it helps us to know how far you've gone. You did a great job with description by explaining about the green scum and the larvae. I can tell that you are working to make your writing feel older, like it was really written a long time ago. I wonder why you chose to go straight to writing about the supplies. I thought you might have started out with what happened before you got on the ship. I also wonder why you didn't write more - especially more about your character. What is your job on the ship?

  3. Mark,
    I like the way that you made your writing like if you were in the time of the age of exploration.

  4. I really like how you added the question at the end I should try that. Great Job!!